With injuries in the past, and with this one, the actual ‘getting hurt’ part is extremely frustrating but there isn’t really anything I can do about it. Once whatever it is that is bothering me crosses a threshold, there’s no going back and no decrease in training or extra stretching or icing will allow me to keep running. Usually that threshold comes really fast after the onset and by the time I realize anything is going on, it’s too late. That was especially the case with my knee. One step I was fine and the next, pow! I did have a lot of soreness in my leg just beneath it for quite awhile leading up to the meltdown, but no way I would have predicted that it would erupt into torn cartilage one morning.
The actual rest period kind of goes the same way — it’s frustrating, but again, it’s out of my control. The damage has been done so I just have to sit tight and wait for whatever it is to heal. In previous cases, however, I just couldn’t run, but I could do just about anything else. This time, I can’t even walk. But, that’s coming to an end.
It’s not until I start to come back that things really get tough. Then, things start to come back under control. The choices I make and the things I do start to have an effect on how quickly I can return to normal. Try to do stuff too fast and the injury will come back and I’ll be out for even longer, perhaps permanently in this case. Don’t do anything at all or not enough and recovery becomes agonizing and difficult. There is some optimal level of increasing activity, but it’s hard to figure out what that is. Even when I was on the team and with the help of my coach and the trainers, nothing ever worked out perfectly and I found myself suffering a lot of setbacks when trying to come back from an injury.
It isn’t just the difficulty of figuring out what and how much to do when that makes recovery hard, but the entire transition itself that can be a real pain. The amount of time and effort required is just so much more than during the most difficult weeks of normal training when I was running track and cross country. Going out for a run or workout every day is pretty easy because it’s pretty much the same kind of thing every day and I’ve done it a zillion times before so I know exactly what to do. Even alternative exercise isn’t all that bad since I get into a routine with biking or whatever it is that I’m doing instead of running. Unfortunately, in this case, I really can’t do much of anything. However, when I start to come back, there is this transitional phase where I’m forced to do things differently almost every day — all kinds of weird strengthening stuff and the gradual addition of more activity (which isn’t always running). It takes a lot more time and effort than I’m used to, but in most cases it’s the only way I’ll ever get back to normal.
It’s now time to start coming back. Yesterday, I went to the doctor and now I can start walking again, slowly. Within two weeks or so, I am supposed to try to get off the crutches completely. I’ve slowly moved around the apartment with one crutch and it’s hard. My left leg just isn’t used to it, but it doesn’t really hurt. I’m also supposed to take off the brace and gradually try to increase my range of motion in the leg. I’ve also got to set up PT appointments which will probably also help with my return to walking normally as well as range of motion. That will involve all the weird exercises and will probably be at some strange time of day so that I feel like I have a lot less time than I used to. I’m sure eventually they’ll help me figure out when I can start biking again and hopefully even run.
At this point, I can see I still have a very long way to go. The past four and a half weeks has seemed like forever, though each day individually seems to go by pretty quickly. The weather suddenly changed and it’s no longer the typical jungle summer weather but cooler and like fall. I know that it probably won’t even be until the end of the year or even into next year when I’ll be able to run again. The long, drawn-out recovery process is what makes things especially hard. My teammate who went through this same process was back to full strength in over six months after the surgery, but it’s different for everyone, and I don’t even know if I’ll be able to make it back. If the microfracture didn’t work, I’ll be back to feeling that awful grinding pain again when I run. I have to hope for the best, and at the least, I’ll be better off than I am now.
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